Monday, February 18, 2013

I need a good listener

Assalamualaikum..

Now, I feel  a little peace in my heart.I feel relax too. Actually, I'm going through the hardest time here since the first week. I don't know what happen to my roommates. I mean, among us. As I enter into the room, I can feel the awkwardness. The room was so silence and they don't speak to me. Previous semester, as I came here they would ask me everything, likes... At what time the bus departed? When you reached Duta? How you came to UIA? By your Pak Su or taxi?.. That's sound so cheerful. The most thing that I feel very weird is one of the roommates who is also my classmate. Let's call her Miss E.Why Miss E? because E is for everything.She is my roomate, my classmate, my coursemate, my friend, my partner for presentation for this semester. On the day I came here, she just sat in her room, never say anything to me. I feel very weird, because during the whole journey from Perlis to UIA, we keep messaging. But, when I came here, she acted like she does'nt know me at all. Oh God ! My head full with so many questions at that time.

Hmm..I said to myself "It's ok, may be she busy with her room." I feel so sad at that time.However, I tried my best to not misunderstand to her. Next morning, I have class at 8.30 am(History of Indonesia). I saw her also getting ready for class. So, I asked " Are you taking Indonesia class too?". and she said yes. Then, we went class together. We talked about our journey along our way to the class. Okay, the misunderstand of me to her had been erased on that time as she gave a positive respond. I felt very release then. However, there is another person who I think may be she dislike me.Let's call her Miss D.The first day I came here, She open the door and  I smile to her. But, she don't smile back to me. She just open the door and the way she saw me like she dislike me very much. Ohh...what a stress !

Actually, these two roommates make me keep silence in room until now. Miss E 
will speak if I speak to her first, and that is during the class. that is so weird ! Before, this, she came and out from my room for chatting, sharing and also discussing about our classes. Now, everything changed. That make us more awkward when we meet, when we are in class , and when we are going to class. Ops, this morning, we did'nt walk together to the class. She asked me to go to the class first.I followed her ask then.

There is also a conflict occurs between me and my friends.They are my classmate too. This happen between me, Miss E, Mrs A and Miss S.Hmm..so many conflict now make me become less motivated to study and to make everything. If I not mistaken, I have skipped launch  for more then one week.It is unintentionally. Well, when everything make you feel worst and less motivated you don't feel hungry at all. A conflict that occurred among us was about choosing group member in one of course we taking now, Language for Occupational Purpose (LE 4500). Hmm..small matter right? But, a small matter can be a big matter ! Okay, We planned to take this course during previous semester. Miss E had do some research about the best lecturer  and the best section that we can take. Then, we register that class together. Miss E and I were planning that we can be in a same group as we will be in the same section. What a best group that I will have ! .However,the conflict emerged as we have a more that members that is needed in a group. Each group should be consist in 4-5 person only. However, we have 6 person. During the second class, I did'nt join their discussion with our lecturer.There are two reasons for that:1) I did'nt know about the discussion. 2) I have another class directly  after that class.So, how can I be there? Mrs A said that I did'nt appreciate their effort at all for begging and struggling to take me into their group.Okay, I also don't know that,because of both reasons just now of course ! 

Next class, we met Mr Selva(lecturer)together. Mr. Selva asked: who is left out of group? Then, they pointed me to the lecturer. I'm shocked.Huh? Me? Why me? During the second class, Miss E told me that Miss Y( friend of Mrs A) asked her friend to joined the group too. For me, the answer for lecturer is the friend of Miss Y. Mr Selva told me then that there is one group that only have 4 members and the only group that I can joined. Okay,I will be grouped with four guys? Oh nooo.... I felt very sad then I forced myself to go to the next class(Islah and Tajdid Movement). I feel very dissapointed with my friend.Why did'nt any one back up me? why my roomate? why my friend? why? 

After that, I text them. I said that I was shocked about what happen just now.I also said " if all of you did'nt want me to be in your group, please tell me earlier and I can find group by myself. Hence, there was a sister asked me to join her group before this conflict occurred." Ooh.. I feel so sad and dissapointed. Feel like being kicked by friend too. 

Finally, I knew something..Sunday night, Mrs A text me that she did'nt even know about forming group together that have been talked me and  by Miss E, who is my roommate. Then, I guest..Miss E just told them about section that we will register together and not about forming group. Mrs. A told me that , she had promise to Miss Y to be in same group. Then, I know how it can be 6 members.. Miss Y made promise with Mrs A.Both of them bring their roomate. Then, Miss E and I left.Of course Miss E  take one more seat in the group. Then, I became groupless.

Tomorrow we will meet again for this class.Mrs A asked me to come tomorrow to discuss about this. Hmm..right now, I feel like I want to drop this subject, because I afraid I can't go on with this subject because of this conflict and finally will make my result worst. 

Right now, I need friend to talk to release all of this feeling. Its enough if I have a good listener like these two friends. Who are they? Secret...of course, everytime I solat, I aked to Allah to make me strong for going through all of these and I also ask to make our friendship became like before..

2 comments:

BlueiceButterfly said...

sabarla..mungkin ada hikmah disebalik semua..mungkin kawan awak tue ada masalah ke..xpe2 meh cita kat sini k saya baca..kita pon kawan kan? :)

myezatul aQma said...

trima kasih blue ice butterfly ;)

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